7 months ago Today

Baby Girl.... it has been 7 months since you left mommy, daddy, Madelyn and Noah. Guess what? It hasn't gotten any easier. Everyday I wake up to find you gone and I have to ask myself why? Why did this happen to us? Mommy and Daddy love you and your brother and sister so much!!! There are no kids that are loved as much as you three. Not just from mommy and daddy, but from everyone, everyone that knows you guys. Yet they are people out there that can't keep their children or who abuse them, things that no child should have to go through and they live long lives. I just can't make sense of any of this. It's just not FAIR!
Your 1st birthday is in 19 days and I have no idea how we are going to get through it. Daddy has had your birthday marked on the calendar since January. We were supposed to celebrate it with you. Your party would have been so big, so many people would have came to see you blow out the # 1 on your cake. Your crooked smile would have been bigger then ever!
Mommy would prefer to crawl into a hole for the next 2 and a half months, then to have to face all these holidays without you. Maddy Jo, Noah and Daddy are going to have to pull me through.
I love you so much Reese and I miss you even more! Give Mommy a little sign that you are here with us!

You're 11 months old today!

“Too Precious To Stay”

With your big crooked smile and stunning baby blues, we are often left to wonder, why this happened to you. You entered this world so quickly but left way too soon and now on each ‘angelversary’ we’ll send you a balloon. You’ll always be our Reesie Cup and in our hearts and minds forever, but we still wake up from this nightmare saying “no…not us…never”.

You’re a perfect baby daughter and beloved little sis, and now we never go to bed before giving your favorite stuffed pig a kiss. We started a foundation and will end this thing called SIDS and try to find some comfort envisioning you up there playing with other little kids. Every day is a challenge and we’ll always shed a tear, but one day we’ll be able to tell new parents that they’ll have nothing to fear.

Sleep tight our blue eyed angel and keep spreading those big wings, ever since that dreadful day in March we know you’ve been doing many special things, Please keep smiling as you watch over us and give us signs that you’re okay; we just know he had to take you back for you were “Too Precious To Stay”.

We love and miss you so much Reesie Cup!

--Love, Mommy & Daddy--

The SIDS Walk

Hey Babygirl,
Wanted to send a a quick note to you, to let you know what we have been up to. Well this past Sunday Sept. 14th, mommy, daddy, Madelyn-Jo, Noah, and about 50 other friends and family took part in a SIDS walk in honor of you, pretty. The walk was sponsored by the CJ foundation for SIDS & WAWA. In case you weren't aware, WAWA is Noah's favorite store. It was a very hard day for Mommy but it was also so incredible that so many people turned out to remember you!!! The 50 + people were not even half of the people that wanted to attend and couldn't. They were all gracious enough to give wonderful donations. It is just amazing to mommy and daddy to see how many peoples lives you touched in just your short 4 1/2 months. We all love you sooo much Reese. We will continue to do things to raise money to try and find a cure for SIDS and Remember You. I love you Reesie!!! Love, Mommy

You are 10 months old today

Hey Reesie Cup,

Today is Sept 8th and you are 10 months old today. You have been gone for almost 6 months now and it is still totally surreal to us. I still think this couldn't have happened to us. Every day I wake up and hope that it is all a dream, but I know this is something we have to deal with for the rest of our lives. I just keep imagining you at 10 months and how you would be getting around and hanging out with your big sister and big brother. They both miss you so much as we all do, especially mommy & me. I am speechless really, and don't know if I will ever find the words to describe what your loss means to our family. It is really such an empty feeling; I don't think words could ever describe it. I feel like since you left us on that dreadful day in March, our lives have been moving in slow motion, but everyone else's is fast forward as usual. I guess it is something we will have to cope with. When? Who knows. I miss you so much and we visit you at the cemetary all the time. I know you are probably best buds with all the little kids at the cemetary and that helps me get by. CHOP is having a memorial service for all the little kids who have left way too soon on Sept 20th. Me, Mommy, Noah, Maddy, Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop and Mom-Mom Goz will be there. It will definitely be hard but at the same time will be good to memorialize you. We are also doing a SIDS walk this Saturday to raise money to help put an end to this mystery. We will never, ever forget you sweetie. You are, and always will be my little Reesie Cup. I hope you visit me in my dreams soon and let me know that you are okay. I love you princess! --Love, Daddy--

9 months Old

Well baby girl. You are 9 months old today. 9 months old and not in my arms. You haven't been in my arms for a 142 days. It have been the most horrible 142 days of my life. I never knew I could feel this empty and sad. We didn't deserve to feel this way or deserve to go through a tragedy this great.

Mommy, Daddy, Maddy and Noah just got home from the beach. We went to North Wildwood for a week. It was very very hard to be there without you. Everywhere I looked I saw babies and all I could think of was you. I wondered constantly how old they were, I just wanted to know if they were near your age. I just came thinking about how big you would be or how much hair you would have. Your smile and those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. You would have been the most beautiful baby on the whole beach, in all of Jersey. I still have all your beach stuff hanging in you closet. Your cute little tankini, your terrycloth jacket, and your sunhats. This is just not fair!!! I could just SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why, why were you taken from us. I just want you to come back to us so bad!! I just want to wake from this horrible nightmare.

I miss you and I love you so much Reese. I'll be back later babygirl. Love, Mommy

Reese has a little angel friend in heaven.... well she has many, but one in particular named Alexandra has wonderful mom named Michelle. Well every month she sends balloons and notes up to our beautiful little angels. Telling them they are missed and loved and just saying hello. Maybe to visit their mommy's and daddy's and tell us hello. The first 3 pics are from July 8th, Reese's 8 month mark, they last 2 photos are from her 7month mark. See all her friends up there.

Thank you Michelle for always remembering our babies!!!

I love you Reesie cup!!! Mommy miss you so much!! I'll be back soon to talk to you!!

Love, Mommy

4 months Ago today... you left us

Oh, Reese.... Mommy misses you so very much!! I still can't believe you're gone. I still feel like I am living everyday in a fog. In a dream world. Some people like to say or think that everything happens for a reason and you are only giving what you can handle. I am not one of those people. Not since you've been taken, there is no one or no reason that anyone can give me that makes any sense. Not for my beautiful healthy baby girl to be taken. I am still so angry Reese. Every time I see a family of 3 or more I want to know why. Why don't mommy and daddy have that anymore? Why were we chosen to have to live a life without our gorgeous daughter, and why Madelyn-Jo and Noah have to live without their little sister. I just want to know why. I just want to wake up, from this horrible nightmare, please just let me wake up.

I'm sorry Reese mommy has to go, I will be back soon. I am just getting so upset I can't even type. I love you soo much and I miss you even more. Love, Mom